Feeling nothing?

I never understood how people could say they were so broken they could feel nothing. The deeper the break, the more I feel. Every touch is like fire burning through my clothing. Permanently branding my skin with the marks of a broken woman. Every noise so loud it hurts. Every word brings another stream of emotion to a mind I am afraid to explore. Sleep doesn't come. Afraid to close my eyes. Afraid to see into my mind. Terrified of what will be found there. And all around, I see lovers kissing. Birds singing. Hearts filled with joy. What I would give to be held tightly in the arms of a stranger. Of someone who cares not where I have been. Of what I have seen. Of what I can't escape.